Fantasy's Realities
by AnnAisu
Summary: Be careful what you wish for. A new life starts with the beginning of FF7. Clouds will cross the sky, and reality will be redefined. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. No pairings, OC Self-Insert. (Story will focus on Cloud once introductions are complete)
1. A Tenuous Grip on Reality

**Fantasies Realities**

_-I Do not own Final Fantasy 7. This stories beginning is based on my true life. The main difference is that I have a slightly better grip on reality than this, and I am not so suicidal as to stand out in the middle of a lightning storm…one that bad, at least. My life has done nothing for me to wish to destroy it. Escape it, yes. End it, no. And so this is my escape, which I give to you to take part in with me. _

**Chapter 1 – A Tenuous Grip on Reality**

**Be careful what you wish for.** After all, the bright green grass on the other side does not look quite the same when you reach it. When you make it to the other side of the fence, you can truly see what it is. Your perception has changed, and you realize what you thought was a beautiful green field is not. It is dirt, with patches of green grass sticking out, a vivid green in contrast to the dark, dry earth. The occasional flower is sprouting out, but the plentiful green plains you imagined are gone. Hesitant, you look back to where you came from. After seeing the reality of this side, you expect the other side to have been greener all along. However, looking back you can see that it is not so much better after all. The grass is more plentiful, but it is dry, dying. The earth you can see is harsh red clay, staining the ground red under the green. Yet you can ignore that, and see the peace on the very surface, if no deeper, no farther. You look back down on the new land you where you stand. Maybe this side is better, after all. Ignorance was bliss, but you can see all too clearly now that you have looked from the top of the fence.

So you look around at the fresh earth, and see a promising chance of happiness after work. You see jagged rocks that will take effort to get past, but the flowers that grow behind them make it all worth the effort and the pain. Sighing, you can stare into the clear blue sky and think of wishes and reality, of truth and lies, of opportunities and strife, of clouds and rain, of life and death, of pain and peace, and of effort- and sacrifice.

**S-*_* Somewhere within Midgar**

**Cloud stumbled as he finally made it to Midgar.** He was barely conscious, with several bullet wounds slowing him down and draining his energy. They had been ricochet bullets…from somewhere. He did not know who did it, or why they had done it. Actually…on further thought, he remembered. It was Shinra. He hated them after what had happened…right? Cloud struggled with his memory as he dragged his terribly heavy body through the city. He was not quite sure why he had not been stopped yet, but he was glad. Right then, all he could think about was living on for something, all he could plan to do was become a mercenary.

His thoughts were a jumbled mess. He had barely remembered his own name by the time he finally collapsed. He was just outside a smaller store, in a bad but not horrible section of the city. He remembered trying to hang onto his fading consciousness as a voice called out his name.

"Cloud? Is that you?" He shifted when the voice stopped, barely able to hold back his groan of pain. A soft gasp told him the person, a girl from the tone of voice, had realized something. "Oh Gaia! You're hurt! Cloud! Stay awake! Cloud! Clo-…"

**Cloud heard no more as his head made contact with the hard ground below.**

** }~'~,~~ 3 Days later, in a different reality**

**I walked into my room** and quietly closed the door behind me. I stood there, with my hand trembling on the handle until I could still its shaking. I sighed and leaned forward, letting my forehead rest on the door. I let go of the handle and instead formed a fist that rose and hit the area next to my head. Slowly bracing myself with the hand, I turned around and slid down to reach the floor beneath my feet.

I was alone again. Not physically, no. My mother was still here, and she would be home in several hours. My sister and brother were at school, but they would be home soon. So I was not alone- not really. Yet I was. My grasp on reality, tenuous at best, had slipped even more. With college and losing my friends from high school, there was less to hang onto. I tightened my hold on what I could-my family, my writings, my readings, and my games. Trying to feel alive again, I ran through several of my Tae-Kwon-Do forms. I failed, and after catching my breath, moved to my computer, my solace, my friend.

I pulled up my Fanfiction page. Fanfiction-my way into seeing how others thought, what life could be like in certain circumstances, how to look from different viewpoints, finding a place to escape. I checked my favorite's list and found not one newly updated story since I had last checked. There was nothing new for me to hide in. I searched the site, slowly, methodically. I was in no rush. I had time to spare, and my perception of reality was getting no better. Yet I still found nothing.

I leaned back and closed my eyes. I could imagine worlds, places, ideas, magic- nothing real. Even my readings shied away from reality, always some fantasy element contained inside. The thoughts of fantasy led me down a new track. Fantasies of Final Fantasy. I snorted slightly at the play on words. Opening my eyes, I glanced to my right and out of the window. The sky was overcast with silvery-grey clouds, and darker clouds where quickly approaching on the horizon. Brief streaks of sunlight shot through the clouds, illuminating the ground below. A light wind rustled dark green trees behind the fence. It was my weather, a sight that felt real to me. I rose from my chair and made my way outside, standing beneath the sky. It had darkened quickly, the blips of sun fading out and the clouds light colors being replaced with darkness as black as midnight.

The wind picked up and a slight rain began to fall. I did not shiver in the cool air, but instead peered through the slight precipitation. It began falling more heavily now, and the wind ran even faster. I felt alive as I stood outside, feeling my clothes soak through. I laughed then, my voice carrying away on the wind and hidden by a low rumble of thunder. Lightning flashed across the now completely black sky, but I could not drag myself inside though I was now thoroughly drenched. Cold shivers broke down my back and arms as a feeling of electricity charged my body. It was an otherworldly storm, and I could feel something supernatural blown in with the winds and poured down with the rain. The lightning herded the power closer forward, and the thunder foretold of its coming. Struck by a sense of fantasy _(The Final Fantasy!) _I called out lines from one of my favorite games, hoping for a chance to change my world. As I called out the words I had oft repeated to myself in a plea to escape reality, I pictured my wish to leave, to escape this world.

"Alta oron. Sondus kameela!*" I cried, given into my flight of fantasy _(My Final Fantasy?)_ and crying to the heavens. I saw green lightning flash down and pictures crossed my eyes as the bolt moved in slow motion. The feeling of magic in the air descended upon me. Visions crossed my mind.

A circle of flowers and an offer of sacrifice. A kind smile and a quirky hairstyle. A stream of sunlight through clouded skies. A shower of silver, burning through fire. A caged predator and steadfast companion. A gloved fist and a promise. A metal arm and a silent presence.

My mom. My sister. My brother. My father. My always-friends. My once-friends. My cats.

My life.

My death.

Then the green, death green, life green bolt struck me. I saw no more, heard no more, and thought no more.

**I was no more.**

-'-,- l

**The storm cleared,** and the magic dissipated from the air, dissolving into nothingness. There was nobody left in the wake of nature's tempest around the house, the computer upstairs still on.

On the screen was a story, still visible as the screensaver had yet to kick in. A story still unposted, only just begun. A story that was full of green grass, and sharp rocks past the fence.

l -,-'

**_-And so my life ends, and begins._**

_A self insert fic as far from the Mary Sue kind as I can get it._

_All facts based from my life are real. I will begin with my main character as purely me. However, I am hoping it will grow into a new personality as she takes life within my story._

_Any and all questions, comments, concerns, criticisms, corrections, and ideas welcome. Flames shall be struck with lightning and blasted into oblivion. Feel free to speak. I honestly have not finished FF7 yet and have not seen the movie. I will be rectifying both facts before this story is over._

*_-Quoted from Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. Part of the spell that brought the children into a different reality, an escape from the real world._

Original Post: May 15, 2011  
>Latest Edit: July 31, 2011<br>Words w/ Authors note: 1,588  
>Current connection with reality: None<p> 


	2. Keep Moving Forward

**Fantasies Realities**

_This is a self-insertion fic, if you have not already figured that out. This person you see before you is a near-perfect copy of me with very slight changes. Her background is completely my own. So far, our only difference is that she is slightly more suicidal. And brave. I know I am not. Slight other things may be over-or under-stated._

_ Final Fantasy 7 does not belong to me._

**Chapter 2 – Keep Moving Forwards**

**Don't stop. Keep moving forward.* **When something happens, it happens. You have to roll with the punches. You have to take the beating. Then you can stand up, do what's right. Do what you can. Avoid what you cannot. Just do not stop. Stopping is equal to giving up. You must keep going. Only then can you pause and look back. Keep going. Do what is right. Follow the correct path, or make your own. It is all up to you. Just keep going forwards, no matter what is done to you, no matter what anyone and everyone says.

**T-***_*

**I felt hard ground beneath me. **My body was tense, curled up in the fetal position, lying on the cracked surface. My eyes were hidden, my head ducked so I could not see. I breathed slowly, deeply, trying to regain my senses as I slowly woke. I cringed and wrinkled my nose in disgust as a scent entered my nose; the smell of dirt and garbage, with mold nearby. Where on Earth would I be that would smell like this? Even my old school smelled better.

I tentatively uncurled and opened my eyes. It was silent, so I looked around without fear of being seen. A gasp escaped my lips when I saw the sight I awoke to. I was in an alley, with garbage piled in clumps on either side of me. The horrid smell was emerging from the confines within. Gagging, I scrambled to my feet and away from the mess. Stumbling in my haste to get up, I looked around. I was in a dark city, with semi-crumbled buildings on either side of me. There were more piles of trash and heaps of scrap metal carpeting the ground. My eyes widened. I lived in a decently sized town, not a dump of a city. Where was I? As far as I knew, there were not any large cities within at least twenty miles from where I lived. This was probably much, much farther than that.

I looked around some more, but there was no explanation waiting for me in the quiet and filthy ally. Frowning, I looked down where my watch was to get an idea of my time. I scowled at the blinking 12. For some reason, my watch would reset at odd times. Thankfully, this only happens about once a month, since my watch is another anchor to my reality. Time. I do not care if someone asked me how long ago I was born or when lunch was, I will look at my watch before answering. Just another example of how pathetic I am. And now, I had no frame of reference for my time.

I looked up to try and gauge the time by the suns position. I gasped in awe at the sight above me. It was a huge metal plate, with wires dipping and sweeping across its bottom. It covered the entire sky in all directions. I shivered at the loss of the clouds. I loved the cloudy sky. Not a bright sky, but a cloudy sky-and the plate took away any chance I had at seeing it. The Plate.

I knew the plate was familiar to me somehow, but I could not remember where I had heard about it before. Or had I seen it in a picture? Either way, I knew it was important to figuring out where I was, how I got here, and what I could do to get out of here.

How did I get here? I tried to remember what happened last before I woke up in this shady alley. I had arrived home from my college classes and had some time before my job started. I had gone up to my room, and failed to find an escape from reality. Then…I had seen the sky, my sky. After that….I felt called outside, so I went. Wait…I was called outside? By what? …Was it the power in the storm…?

The storm! The lightning had hit me! The green bolt had crashed through me after giving into my flight of fantasy. I had hoped to leave my world. I had called out a Final Fantasy quote from a game in which the characters managed to escape reality. I knew I was not in Ivalice, though-the bright country the characters had escaped to. That land had bright, sunny towns, and there was no such hi-tech technology there; like the Plate dripping wires above me surely was.

An idea was building at the back of my brain. Things began to slowly click together, much faster than when I normally solved puzzles. There was the power I had felt in the storm. _Click._ There was the green, life green bolt of energy. Energy? Not lightning? No, something inside me said, Energy. _Click. _Images had crossed my mind, images associated with imaginary characters. Aeris, Zack, Cloud, Sephiroth, Vincent, Nanaki, my mom, my sister, my brother, my father…and others. _Click. _The green. There had been a sea of green after that. A sea of life-green. No, not a sea…a stream. _Click._ Then the Plate above me. It was strewn with wires and blocked out the sky. A quote from a game whispered in my ears. "_Someday I'll take you to where you can see the sky."** __**Click!**_I mentally stepped back and took a look at the puzzle. I closed my eyes to deny what I saw lying before me.

Before me stood the evidence of a crossing of worlds. I could see Final Fantasy VII, FF7, the Seventh Final Fantasy, lying before me.

I crumpled back onto the ground, narrowly avoiding the garbage. I was on my hands and knees, trying to stop myself from falling on my face. I tried not to throw up from shock, but it was tough with the disgusting smell of the slums stuck in my nose. The slums!

I was in Final Fantasy Seven. In Midgar, under the plate. Crouched on my knees down an alley in the slums. _Oh God,_ I thought hysterically. _Or is it oh Gaia now?_ I let out a slightly crazed chuckle. The broken sound crossing my lips pulled me up short and helped me clear my mind. I slowed my panting breath -_when had it sped up-_ and tried to stand. I slowly made it up, a hand on the filthy metal wall for help, providing balance and support.

There was no use trying to pretend this was a dream. It stank far too much and felt far to real for this to be a dream. However, there was another option…had I finally gone insane? Had I been struck by the lightning so hard I was lying in a coma somewhere and was now dreaming, or locked in a padded room with these new delusions? I did my best to keep calm as I knew the chance of that was high. It was far more likely than traveling to Gaia.

I abruptly cut myself off. I detached myself from the situation. I let my loose grip on reality slip a little more, to give me some distance from my problem. I had felt more alive in the last ten minutes than I had in a very long time. Of course, that had been because I was utterly confused, scared, and on the verge of vomiting, but now I was calm. I decided that I really didn't want to hold onto the feeling of panic, and let it fade away as an apathetic numbness tried to spread throughout my body. The numbness was counteracted by a surge of curiosity and eagerness to explore.

I opened my eyes and drew myself up straight. I needed to find out when I was. Whether this was real or not, I could not die. If I was in a coma or deluded, my body would likely react to my 'death' by killing itself. If this was my new reality…then I would just die with my death, to be absorbed by the Lifestream. _Lifestream green lightning bolt._ I shivered, unable to deny the sense of foreboding I had at the memory of the light hitting me. Had I really been struck by lightning?

So, I needed to stay alive. First step on that path was to find out when I was in relation to the game's timeline. I prayed to God and Gaia _–was that blasphemy?- _that it was after Crisis Core. I did not have the PSP needed to play Crisis Core. I had gleaned enough information from Fanfiction to piece parts of it together, but not enough to survive during it. Thankfully, I knew it was before Advent Children-the Plate was still covering the sky. I needed to check and see if it had fallen on Sector Seven yet. Was Seventh Heaven run by Tifa yet? Was Barret the leader of Avalanche already?

I needed to find out, and I needed to leave the alley. I knew the slums were a dangerous place-weren't all the poorer districts less safe? I needed to make myself untouchable. I needed to call up one of my masks, transform myself into someone else.

I stopped hunching over and stood tall and straight. My slumped shoulders were thrown back. My head was tilted slightly upwards. I was unstoppable. I had power behind me, enough to defeat anyone. I was in charge and none would dare talk to me. I was Sephiroth as I imagined him to be before his insanity and Jenova. Not having played Crisis Core, I was not sure…but that was how he was to me. Shadows hidden in his eyes, yet untouchable, above all. Intimidating to be around. You would not dare to disobey him. That was the mask I pulled on.

I walked confidently out of the alley. I scanned the area, looking for potential threats. There were several passerbys, but they all were slumped down and clearly downtrodden. I moved my way down the street, striding down the street as if I had full rights to it. I had no idea where I was going, but I would be fine. I scanned the area, looking for something, anything I might remember. When I saw a sign hanging above a door, my mask almost crumbled and my shock returned.

Seventh Heaven. I was in the right place. I had a point of reference. I made a mark on the mental map I was drawing. Thankfully, it had not been far from where I landed. There was only a couple of kids around, so I let my mask fall and change. Sephiroth would be bad to copy now. It would give the impression I thought I was better than anyone else. That would lead to horrible first impression. Here, first impressions could lead to whether or not someone helped you, saved your life, or took your life.

I needed someone friendly. Someone brave. Someone a lot more personable and easy-going than me. Zack came straight to my mind. I felt myself lowering my shoulders slightly and dropping my chin. An easy smile spread across my face. I almost made to go across the path to the bar right then, but I paused to create a backup story. Nobody should notice me or call me out if they did, but I needed to be sure. It was a kill or be killed world out here, and I was heading into a secret anti-Shinra headquarters. They were more violent than others-they had to be to survive.

Luckily, I looked old enough to drink, even if I was not quite. I doubted they cared…but better safe than sorry. Thinking of my looks, I quickly undid my mussed braid and redid my hair. I pulled all of it back into a braid that just reached the top of my mid-back. Done. I knew I could not buy anything in their anyways…I had no gil. So, I needed a reason why I would be visiting a bar when I knew I could not buy anything.

… . . .

I had been robbed on my way to the bar. I had heard it mentioned as a good place to go, and had been heading there for a first time to buy a drink and check it out. However, on my way here, I was pick pocketed. I had not noticed until I got close…and by then I had might as well check it out anyways, even if I could not buy anything.

So, with my story set, I reapplied my Zack-mask. My friendly smile appeared once more, almost unconsciously. I made a slight adjustment, to fit in with the shadows and not talk, and I was off.

-,-'- l

**I made my way inside the building.** I barely remembered it from the game…but the place around me seemed somewhat similar to what I could recall. There were small differences, like there were a few more tables and two more arcade games _–to hide the secret room better?-_ but otherwise, it seemed the same. I kept my smile on my face as I peered around for a good spot to sit. I had never been in a bar before…but whatever. I spotted a little table, somewhat near the corner and against a wall. I inwardly cheered as I headed for it. I sighed as I sat down. I looked around curiously. I knew better than to try to hide my curiosity; I did not think I could pull it off enough to where it would not be noticed. Instead, I pulled up Zack's innocent curiosity. _Ooh…that would be a great place to rig a prank- …_or not so innocent curiosity. _But really, they were just begging for someone to…_

I focused my thoughts back on looking around innocently. Do not stare to look, look around unhurriedly, keep the friendly smile on…and spot Tifa. I inhaled softly, slightly heavier than my average breath as I caught sight of her. She was tending to the bar, oversized boobs and all. The game had emphasized this asset of hers enough times in her victory poses…Throwing my thoughts back on track, I kept looking around. She was there. She had looked sad...even I could tell that much. She was constantly throwing glances at the stairs in the back. Why?

Then a head of blonde hair came down. I stifled a snicker…it was a Chocobo. Cloud. His hair really did look a bit like a chocobo's feathers. I wondered what the chocobos here would actually look like. Probably like Cloud's hair. He wandered down from the stairs and into the more common area of the bar, which had been mostly full when I got here. It had only steadily filled since then. In fact…I looked around as he did, and saw no empty places. There were none at the barstools, and none at the tables. It must have been Friday night.

He made no move. I rolled my eyes. He clearly wanted to sit down. There were no empty tables…but there was an empty seat across from me. I drew in a breath. I had on my Zack-mask…so why should I be worried? It was just another Zack-wannabe. I looked at him until he caught my eyes. I looked from one side of the crowded bar to the other, then back at him. I shrugged my shoulders and gestured at the empty seat with my smile still in place. That should be clear enough…

Apparently, it was. He shrugged his shoulders slightly in turn and made his way over to me. He sat down in the chair. Crap. Crapcrap crap. What did I say now? I mentally smacked myself. Small talk. Right. Help, Zack!

"It's pretty crowded in here, isn't it?" I asked, nodding my head towards the rest of the room. He nodded slowly. Okay, I got a positive response. Good. Now for talking…if I was lucky, I wouldn't come across as a complete moron. I did not have much hope of that. I was definitely not feeling lucky. After all, if getting hit by lightning isn't unlucky…what is? Cloud…right. Vincent and Sephiroth as well. They were all so much more unlucky than me.

Thankfully, I was spared my next attempt at being sociable. Thanks be to whoever mattered. I hated being social. I would much rather be quiet and alone than around people, and I stank at finding things to say…which is why I relied on Zack, or at least his mask I had pulled up.

Tifa had finally noticed Cloud and had hurried over to our table. She was now standing near him, and he was looking vaguely in her direction, unconcerned. "Are you alright?" she asked. I hid my giggles at the "I'm fine," that came from his lips. How come most main characters always responded with that untrue statement?

Tifa shook her head. "Anyways…what can I get for you? Oh!" she exclaimed, looking at me as she noticed someone else was with Cloud. "Anything for you as well?"

I let my Zack mask combine slightly with Naruto's. My hand reached behind my head and I grinned sheepishly. "Actually…I kind of got robbed on my way here. I was looking for a nice place to try my first drink and I heard about here." My grin brightened. "I heard it was pretty nice, especially compared to other places around here, and so far, they were all right!" Tifa smiled a little at that. My grin faded and my hand slipped down. My gaze dropped to the table as I said the next bit. "Well…I was a bit too excited and didn't pay enough attention to my surroundings. I must have been pick pocketed or something along the way, because all of my stuffs gone!" I let my voice rise slightly at the end, adding emotion to my voice. I was good at pretending to be what I was not.

I had raised my head as well as my voice at the end, and let both drop back down. "I didn't realize it until I got here and checked my pockets…" I lifted my head slightly and out came another sheepish grin and head rub. "By then, I was close enough I decided to go ahead and check it out. Maybe next time I have enough money, I could check again, right?" I looked up at Tifa hopefully.

She shook her head softly. "Sure, all but the horrible are welcomed here." I brightened and lowered my hand and raised my head. "Actually…" she looked around, "You could start up a tab and pay it off next time." My mouth dropped open. Seriously? I brightened again. My masks always made my mood changes much more…dramatic.

Then my face fell. I knew I had no way of getting money. Unless I suddenly found a sword, I could not defeat any of the monsters-and even then, it was iffy. I had been planning to learn swords at my Tae Kwon Do place…but I had not started yet. It was going to be my Christmas present to me. It was still October. So I had no way of getting money, and no idea as to how I could. Crap. It was nice of Tifa to offer, but I would not be able to pay her back. I offered her a sad smile.

"Nah. I might not have any…extra money for a while." I could not help the pause that inserted itself between my words. Please don't notice, please don't notice…

Cloud broke in. "We'll take two of something strong." Tifa shot a surprised glance at him and a soft smile my way, before turning back to the counter. Shock set in once again. I hated feeling stupid and weak but- Cloud was buying me a drink! I squashed down on the urge to give a fangirl squeal. If I was stuck in FF7, then I was not going to be a squealing Mary Sue.

"Thanks," I muttered quietly. "You didn't have to do that." I had my Naruto mask disappear. He is too expressive for me to use for too long. I settled into a more natural, quieter tone of voice. "What's your name?"

He sighed softly. He seemed to think for a moment before replying. "…I'm Cloud. Cloud Strife."

I smiled softly, naturally. I offered my slightly altered name in return. "I'm Stephanie. Stephanie Hitori." He had flinched slightly at the sound of my first name. Steph was probably too close to Seph for his tastes. Whenever I messed with Final Fantasy 7, I chose that as my name or screen name. Just for fun. Seriously, Stephanie, Sephiroth? Steph, Seph? Sweet. It was as close as I could find. My last name was my more common screen name. Hitori. Alone. One person. At least, those were the translations my handy pocket Japanese _(Wuitan?) _dictionary gave me. "I'm pleased to meet you."

My Zack mask was falling. I had little need for it now, just the extra courage it gave me to continue speaking. I was probably safer here than anywhere else on Gaia, now that I was on speaking terms with Cloud. Go me!

Tifa finally appeared with the drinks after a couple of minutes of silence. I was fine with not talking, and I knew Cloud was as well. At least, I assumed he was. She showed up with a bright smile. "Here you go! Drink up!" I took the one she handed to me cautiously.

I peered down the cup at the amber liquid inside. I swirled it around the glass experimentally, watching it shine slightly in the light as it spun around within its glass confines. I tentatively smelled it, wafting the air like you would an experiment in a science lab. I caught Tifa exchanging a glance with Cloud as I slowly raised the glass to my lips.

I took a small sip and tried not to grimace. It tasted very…odd. Odd and sour and slightly bitter. I had never had alcohol before, so I was not sure what to expect. I rolled it around my mouth, trying to get used to the taste. I finally swallowed. When I looked up, Tifa was grinning and Cloud had a slight smirk on his face. "Well? How is it?" Tifa asked. She looked very amused.

I almost hit my head as I realized why. I had drank my probably very low-class alcohol like fine wine tasters tested their wine. I shook my head. "Odd…very different than what I am used to. This is the first drink I have had, so…" I shrugged and took another, bigger sip. I also swallowed a little more quickly. "Hmm…it's good!" I finally decided. Tifa laughed and walked away, calling "Enjoy!" over her shoulder as she got back to work.

I took another sip as Cloud raised his glass. We both took a sip at the same time. Noticing that, I started mimicking his movements. When he lifted the glass, so did I. When he took a sip, I was ready to have one myself. He took long gulps of the drink, lowering it and waiting vefoer taking another large sip. The long pauses between each drink dragged out softly. I added these little details to my Cloud mask. His hand never wavered as he set the glass down, and he always put it down in exactly the same place. Exactly.

My glass was more than half-empty before I voiced a question I had been wondering. "Soooo….how can you tell when you get drunk?" My 'so' slipped out slightly longer than I wanted it to. I frowned at the cup. My head had a very soft hum in it. _Buzzzzz…._

One corner of his lips twitched up, surprising me with both his inclination to smile, and my ability to notice. "Words start slurring. It becomes harder to monitor your words. The room starts moving. There's a buzzing noise." He shrugged. "If you feel that, then you're drunk, or on your way to being there."

I frowned at the glass and tried to take a mental inventory. Slurry words…they were a little slurred. Monitoring…we will see. Room swaying oh so softly…check. Hum…check. "Huh…" I muttered. "Hmm…If I get drunk, tell me what kind of drunk I am, alright?"

The question had surprised him, I was sure of it. His eyebrows rose at least a millimeter. I giggled slightly. "I want to know if I'm a happy drunk, a sad drunk, a sexy drunk, a mopey drunk, or a talky drunk!" I said brightly, taking a swig of my drink before Cloud took his. I frowned. I felt weird. "Am I a weird drunk? Am I drunk?" Cloud chuckled. I frowned more. Then I smiled as I realized something awesome. Ha! I got Strife to smile!

"Yes. I believe you are getting drunk, lightweight," he teased gently. I scowled at the glass.

"But I don't wanna be drunk yet! What if I'm a pouty drunk?" I eyed my glass and pushed it away a little. Heeeey…it was lower than I thought. When did that happen? I glared in the direction of the chuckle I heard. I sighed morosely when I saw Cloud. I was getting drunk, and he was laughing at my expense, but he was laughing! "S'not funny…" I murmured…

It was not funny. It was getting scary. I was getting drunk. Apparently a talky-drunk. Near Cloud. Who I hold secrets about. Hey…secrets… "I gotta secret!" I said in an excited whisper, beckoning Cloud closer. He raised an eyebrow but he obliged and leaned over. "And…I'm not gonna tell you!" I leaned back with a triumphant grin on my face. Ha! I win! Apparently, Cloud didn't mind losing because he was laughing softly. I leaned forward again. "Do you have a she-secret too?"

Cloud stopped laughing. I frowned. He did not laugh enough in the games. He needed to smile. Be happy. "I meant ha-happy shecrets, shtupid!" His small frown appeared. Nononono! "Aww…come on! Tell you what, I'll give you a happy shecret!" I paused. What could I say? What would make him smile? "Oooh! I knows!" His frown had almost disappeared. Yay! "You look happy when you smile!" He sat back a little, smiling softly with me. I felt the haze clouding my mind disappear a little and frowned. "You know…" I slurred seriously, "You need to live. For whatever." I waved my hand around a little and his face paled slightly.

"You gotta be…be happy, for your friends." I nodded with my wisdom. I was still drunk, but I could think again. "Live for them. And when they go…live for them anyways." I was thinking clearer now. Part of me was shrieking something. Something about being stupid? To not quote Zack? Eh, whatever. Cloudy could not remember, and he needed to hear it for when he did.

I nodded seriously to Cloud. "You've gotta live for 'em then. They are still there, inside you. There's a little piece of them, inside you forever and ever and ever…" I saw Cloud's hand rise slightly, but he did not seem to notice it even as he pressed it against his chest. "When you're happy, they can be happy. When you're shad, it makes them sha-sad. You gotta- haveta' 'member 'em and they'll be there." I frowned. It wasn't coming out great, but it was something. My head was muzzy and it was getting really hard to think and talk in a line. Stupid alcohol.

I paused for a moment, then I tried ignoring the alcohol like I did stress. It took a moment, but I felt my mind clearing somewhat. Maybe. I was still going to talk to Cloud though. He needed it. "If someone close to you dies, it hurts. I don't know, not personally, but I know about it." I looked down at my clenched fists, seeing Cloud leaning over a dying Zack in my mind. "It hurts, but you have to move on. Keep walking. Don't stop." I frowned. What was the quote? "Keep going. If you stop, then you're trampling on the lives that were sacrificed.*" I nodded sagely. It was not word for word, but I had gotten the quote out. Cloud looked down seriously.

"But smile!" I leaned over and poked Cloud. Poking people was fun. I poked him again. Wheeee…maybe the drink was affecting my actions more than I thought it still would be. Ooops. "You gotta be happy for 'em. Happy. Not mopey. Happy." Cloud looked up from my finger that was repeatedly poking him _(Squeeee! I get to poke Cloud without being killed!)_ and to my face. He smiled. I gave him a big, Naruto-sized smile back. "Yeah! Smile! Just like that!" I looked over to where Tifa was standing, having just walked over. I was still acting more drunk than I was, so I had no quibbles about embarrassing myself and Cloud. "Seeeee, pretty lady? Doesn't he look nice when he smiles? All happy-like?" I poke him. Again. "See?" I frowned. "I don't have your name….I gotta have your name so you can agree with me!" Thank whoever I was not actually drunk because I almost called out her name, and had barely managed to stop myself.

Tifa smiled at Cloud and me. In grammar, Cloud comes before me 'cause he's gotta save the world! Agh! No more drunken thoughts! I shook my head wildly. "Yes, I do agree. My name's Tifa." Yes! Now I can say the rhyme that was screaming in my head!

I grin. "See, Tee? Tee-fee, see-e? I'm Stephanie, and he's happy!" I frowned. "And I'm drunky." I almost threw myself at Cloud, but stopped mid-motion. I wailed, "…and I'm a lightweight drunk! He told me!"

I pulled back and pouted. Okay, I was drunk, but not that drunk. That was just revenge on Cloud. Curse it, I would not be a lightweight! Plus, it had them both grinning. I smiled at their smiles. Then I frowned again. "The curse of Marry Suueeeeeeee!" I cried out suddenly. Tifa gave a little jump as Cloud startled. After a moment of incomprehension, Tifa just started laughing and cleared away our drinks, shaking her head as she did so. Cloud was chuckling as he handed his over to Tifa.

"Do you need help getting home?" Cloud asked. I looked at him. My face fell flat, and I shut down. No more relapses of drunkenness.

"I cannot get home anymore." I said seriously. "Something happened. I don't have a home anymore." I felt tears well up. I felt like such an emotional crap tonight, so I tried to shut my feelings down. It was my only chance of cutting off my tears. "I have to make a new one." I frowned. Where would I stay tonight? Maybe Aeris' church was open for strangers to sleep in? I would need to pass the train graveyard to get there though…I could use Cloud as my bodyguard…

Cloud was looking softly at me now. Tifa had returned, and the bar was mostly empty. With Cloud's and my pauses between drinks, we had been sitting forever. Everybody was pretty much gone now. Tifa sighed. "I have a bed I can let you borrow for one night. Only one night, but a free night, okay?

My mouth fell open, _again._ These people were too nice to be real! But…they weren't really real. So of course they were nice. But it was nice that they seemed nice. I smiled softly at Tifa. "If I can ever do anything for you, anything at all for you, please tell me," I said softly. I was in her debt for this. And Cloud's for the drink. "I would…be very glad if you would let me stay, then. I can find somewhere tomorrow…" I said, swaying slightly.

I was so tired. I could normally fight it off, and I had been for the last hour or so, but I could not help it any more. I sighed softly and fell to the floor, dead to the world, asleep.

l -,-'-

**Tifa and Cloud exchanged looks.** Tifa nodded, and Cloud moved to where he could pick the girl up. He grunted slightly at the weight. She was not a light girl at all, but he was not at all weak. He carried her gently to the stairs. He moved upstairs to his temporary bedroom. There were two beds inside. He carefully placed the tall girl down on one, and turned away to grab a blanket for her. When he turned back, he saw the girl on her side, with a tear slowly trickling down her face. He just stood there and watched it fall, then covered her with a blanket. He turned to leave and went back downstairs.

Tifa was waiting for him at the bottom. He knew he could trust her. Therefore, he could and would talk with her about the girl sleeping upstairs. They both moved back to the table Cloud was at earlier, but with much heavier stuff this time. Cloud looked down at his glass and let out a slight snort. "She really was a lightweight…odd, for someone with her build."

Tifa just sighed. "It wasn't just that. It was the exhaustion making her weaker. She wasn't just drunk from the alcohol, but the lack of sleep. Did you see how fast she fell?" Cloud nodded. "There was probably a reason for that." She had her determined face on. Cloud recognized it; it jogged his memory slightly.

She had worn that face when she went to look for her mother when she had died. "The girl doesn't look like she'll be going anywhere soon. You can talk with her tomorrow." Cloud took a deep drink from his cup.

Tifa sighed "She was lying about the money. It was not that it would be a while until she had enough extra for a drink…it was she had no idea when she would get some at all. That, and she felt bad enough for not being able to pay later she was going to refuse. Yet when you offered, she accepted. That shows she has morals, but can stand to accept what can be accepted."

Cloud nodded. Tifa was still wearing her determined face. There was no hope she would be backing down from this situation either. The girl upstairs –Stephanie, a name that made him want to shiver with its similarity to Sephiroth's, was going to be unable to avoid Tifa. He sighed. He would likely be helping Tifa as well, since he still had almost a week until AVALANCHE was all set to bomb the reactors. He hoped nobody got hurt, unlike how they had the last time Tifa wore that face. He somehow knew that neither he, Tifa, nor the sleeping girl upstairs could handle that much more pain.

_ -,-'-) l_

**_The Path has been laid to be followed._**

_Wooh…done with the chapter. Again, all details about me are true. Even the name explanation. Seriously! Seph and Steph! But yeah…this revealed I was a girl. Oh noes! Now someone will stalk me and try to rape me! Pft, just try. I take Tae Kwon Do. Hopefully I will be starting swords soon so I have a basis to work off of._

_Umm…I've never had a drink before. I'm still under 21. Once, I had a sip of wine when I was 12 or something….but that doesn't really count. I don't remember anyways. So, yeah. However, I do bet I would be a talkative drunk. It lowers inhibitions, right? I think of lots of things I want to say but never do. I hope it turned out okay despite my inexperience! Since I have never been drunk before, I waited until I was drunk with exhaustion to write that section. I think it worked out._

_The masks thing is real, if slightly exaggerated. I've mostly stopped talking now, so they aren't really necessary anymore._

_Comments, concerns, corrections, criticisms, compliments, and comebacks welcome. (Yay, alliteration!) Flames will be shocked to death. Hmmm…I think Stephanie will be very good at lightning material…hehehe…_

_* - Quote by Rinari (Leenalee) from -man.  
>** - Er…I think Zack said something like this to Aeris. Like I said, I cannot play Crisis Core! If I got it terribly wrong, please tell me!<em>

_Like I said, I have not even finished the game yet. I only got my Playstation 2 this Christmas, and I can only play every other weekend or so. So…yeah. I'm trying to finish it up though. I just released Vincent from his Coffin. Yay, Valentine!_

_Yeah…now my party typically is Cloud, Nanaki, and Vincent. I had read enough Fanfiction I knew to name Red XIII Nanaki. I would hate to be called by my experiment name. _Subject H! Time for more tests! _Screams._

_Well…This fic is not going how I thought it would. I was actually just going to go in, take a look around, see Tifa, and head over to Aeris' church. Maybe hang around and sleep there. Well, I can thank Cloud for my new situation. … Thank you, Cloud and Tifa!_

**NO! I DO NOT WANT THIS TO BE MARY SUE! **If I EVER am like Mary Sue, tell me! _I am going_ _through this fiction based on my true reactions and flawed nature…so hopefully I can avoid that._

This chapter was slightly longer than what will be the chapter's average length.

Original Post: May 16, 2011  
>AO3 Post: October 12, 2012<br>Updated: October 12, 2012  
>Words wo Authors note: 5,751  
>Current connection with reality: Testing new configurations<p> 


	3. Reasons Behind Deeds

**Fantasies Realities**

_I give a big 'Hello!' to my four readers! Aichioluv is completely awesome-thanks again for reviewing first! Thanks go to WingSong555, Samantha Sheffield, and KafeiDetour as well. Someone put me on his or her favorites list…so here is a thank you for you, FRAODD!_

_Disclaimer: I have no rights to Final Fantasy. However, I do own myself, and therefore, my written representation. …did I just give myself away to then? Now they really do own me!_

_Yes, Stephanie is basically me. I decided that she could continue wearing glasses after all, if that ever comes up. I doubt it. That…should be all I need to write up here._

**Chapter 3 – Reasons Behind Deeds**

E - *-*

**There are reasons behind every deed.** Everything you do or say has a reason behind it. Whether it is because of something you feel or something you need. Nothing happens for no reason at all. The reason may be insignificant, but it is still there. Just be careful of your reasons, and the deeds you carry out in their name.

~,~'~~ l

**I groaned and covered my eyes with my arm.** My brain pounded at my skull, beating a rough and painful tune on through head. It easily reminded me of the horrible headaches I used to have. With plenty of effort and a large bit of time, I pulled myself forward into a semi-upright position. Mindful of my rapidly fading headache, I surveyed the room I had been situated in, trying to find out where in the world I could be. I had been lying on a bed until I sat up; a hard and fairly uncomfortable but warm bed. The room appeared fairly neat to my unpracticed eye. Clean, tidy, and tiny, but homey. There was another bed just several feet away on the other side of the room. I slowly shuffled to my feet and moved closer to it to figure out who could be lying on it.

Lying draped across the pillow was a huge amount of blonde hair. Soft spikes spread around the pillow in every direction, almost hiding the person beneath the hair. I bit back a gasp as the events of yesterday filtered back into my mind. I was on the world of Final fantasy VII! Here I was, standing over Cloud in Tifa's home and first bar, the secret meeting place of the anti-Shinra organization AVALANCHE. Along with the realization of where I stood came the remembrance of my actions last night. I resisted the blush that threatened to spread as I realized that I must have passed out on the floor and brought up here. That…was embarrassing. First, I could not hold even a single drink, and then somebody had to drag my huge carcass up the stairs. I could only assume it had been Cloud doing the dragging, as I felt no aches or pains from being dropped. Besides, Cloud seemed like that-a pretty nice guy who would help somebody who had fallen down, even he comes across as if he does not care.

Thinking of Cloud and sleeping, I had to suppose that this was his temporary room. I had no idea exactly what Cloud had been doing before blowing up the Sector 1 reactor, but apparently, it included staying at Tifa's for a short while. Maybe he was recovering from his journey to Midgar with Zack?

Zack…I stepped back from Cloud's bed and bowed my head in remembrance. Zack had become the hero he wished to be and had upheld the honor so important to him and his mentor. I had always admired his strength and fortitude; he was only several years older than me yet withstood the torture of Hojo's lab, escaped with his comatose friend, and then he proceeded to drag the same friend that barely held onto the world all the way to Midgar. Before, it had been so abstract to me-of course Zack could do it! He was a video game character, right? They are invincible! If they fail, they just hit retry and do it over again! Yet now here I am, staring at his living legacy, the proof of the strength of the human spirit…who was stirring and beginning to wake.

I watched as Cloud gently tossed his head from side to side before rising. He blinked the sleep from his eyes before turning and focusing on me. He stared silently, so I offered a hesitant, "Good morning."

After a moment's pause, he replied. "Good morning." Speaking of mornings…why had I awoken before him? I hated the mornings and if I had a choice, I would stay firmly rooted in bed until after ten. I looked at my watch to check the time, but I had not had the opportunity to fix it yet. It was still waiting and flashing the mocking 12s.

I scowled at the watch before looking back at Cloud. He stared at me, and I brushed off the disconcerting feeling being stared at by mako eyes brought on. "Do you know the time?"

Cloud simply pointed to a small table near his bedside. I blushed when I realized it held a clock. It was past 10 o'clock, almost 10:50. I quickly started reprogramming my watch, before pausing. "You…wouldn't happen to know the date, would you?" He nodded. I smiled. "Tell me, please?"

He paused for a moment. "Thursday, October 27." I froze while inputting the data. I had lost a day in transit between the worlds, or in my madness.

However, the date held other significance for me. "Happy birthday to me, then," I said softly. I finished and the watch began to run correctly with a harsh _beep._ Although I was still looking at the watch, I had no need to look up to know if Cloud was staring at me. I could almost feel his mako-laden gaze watching me, before it lost its focus on me.

I heard the bed creak as he got up. "Happy birthday." He paused for a moment. "I thought you said last night was celebrating your 19th birthday and the ability to drink alcohol."

I shook my head. Thank … the planet that the drinking age was lower here than at my old home. "I was planning on waiting until midnight to drink, if Seventh Heaven stayed up that late." I said after a moment. Luckily, my on-the-spot bull-crap ability was working faster, making the pause only a half-breath's hesitation.

Cloud nodded thoughtfully. As he stepped out of the bedroom door, I noticed that he was wearing the purple SOLDIER uniform even though he had not changed. I supposed I was not the only one who had accidently slept in my day clothes…until I realized he probably did not have any other clothes to his name, as I did not either. He paused for a second and then turned back to me. "Do you have a hangover?" he asked.

I blinked, considered it, but then shook my head. "I don't…think so," I said hesitantly. "Just a headache," I winced. "A larger than normal headache, but nothing not easily ignored. I can live with a teeny bit of pain like this.

Cloud thought about that for a moment before nodding. "Do you need any help with it?"

I shrugged. "It's no big deal. I've had headaches before. I can weather through another one easily enough." I paused for a moment to think. "Do you know where Tifa is? I need to thank her for letting me spend the night…and thank you for the drink." Cloud shrugged and turned out the door. I stared at the door for a moment before taking a step back and sitting on the bed.

My realty had changed. Instead of my sister in the room next to me and my mom downstairs, I was in a guestroom while Cloud was downstairs, likely with Tifa and Barret. The plate blocked out the sky through the window. Final Fantasy Seven was surrounding me, drowning me.

I shoved these thoughts to the back of my mind. I could stew over it later, but now, I needed to get up. I could not let my thoughts drive me to a breakdown. Instead, I rose and made my way through the door. Perhaps Tifa would be downstairs so I could thank her. If not, Cloud was downstairs and I could talk to him, even if he did not talk back. I was by no means a fangirl…but when you have the opportunity to talk normally with someone who will save the world, sacrifice so much to do so much, you take that chance; especially if it should not be possible in your reality.

Ignoring my fading headache, I began to make my way downstairs. I paused and drew back as I saw the bathroom, and decided to make a quick detour to do my business.

After I finished washing my hands, I peered at my reflection in the mirror, scowling at the face staring back at me. My dark blonde hair was fraying out of the braid I shoved it in, escaping in all directions. I dried my hands and braided it again. It would hold it in place for several hours before I would need to redo it…again. I stared at the mirror as my fingers flew through their familiar pattern. My grey-blue eyes stared back at me from behind dark gold glasses, looking tired and dead. The glasses lay perfectly to cover the dark shadows lurking under my tired eyes.

After snapping my hairband onto the end of my braid, I turned to leave. There was nothing else for me to look at in the mirror except my height-a comfortable 5'10". I smirked as I finally made my way downstairs. A good portion of Cloud's group would be shorter than me. I was not sure how Cloud would compare with his hair…but without it, I was taller than him as well.

When I made it downstairs, I blinked at the short person in front of me. What was a little kid doing in a bar? The little girl stared up at me, hands folded in front of her pink dress. "Tifa said to tell you good morning! So, good morning!" The girl announced. It took me a moment to respond.

Dropping to my knees so I was at her level, I softly said "Good morning. Can you tell me where Tifa is? I need to tell her good morning as well." The little sweetie nodded, bouncing up and down a little.

"She's downstairs talkin' to Papa!" I paused for a moment. I was on the ground floor, so that meant she was in AVALANCHES secret room. So…would that make this Marlene?

"Did you tell your Papa good morning too?" I asked. Marlene nodded. I wanted in on the AVALANCHE meeting. I was….fairly sure that I would not be killed. They were a terrorist organization, after all, and dropping in on them without warning ran the risk of being shot. To me, it was worth the risk-and the reality of the danger had not quite fully sunken in yet. "Can you take me to them so I can say good morning to both of them as well, sweetheart?" Marlene nodded again and grabbed my hand. I let myself be dragged to the pinball machine closest to the stairs.

"Here we are!" She let go of my hand so she could activate it. Before I could blink, it had opened and she had pulled me onto the platform. Amused, I just stayed silent as the little girl bounced around. She was telling me about her morning in her _adorable_ little kid voice. I could see why Barret doted on her so much. Her innocence reminded me of my little brother-I promptly ignored that thought and focused on Marlene. Later, not now, later; when I have time for a breakdown. Or never; never was good too. Marlene was still chatting full force as the meeting room was revealed. Silence descended on the group as we descended, and when the lift reached the floor, even Marlene was quiet.

I looked around as Marlene pulled me off the lift. As it rose back into the ceiling, I decided to break the silence before someone else did something… "Well, when you said Tifa and your Papa were downstairs, this was not quite what I thought you meant!" I gave her a kind smile, ignoring the staring people in the room. "So, who is the lucky dad that belongs to this beautiful little girl?" Although I was being truthful, Barret was lucky to have Marlene, I was trying to get into the man's good graces-or, at least, out of his bad ones which I had probably just entered by accidently (kind of on purpose) broke into his secret meeting room.

Marlene decided to ignore the solemn atmosphere and ran to her dad and jumped into his arms, which he automatically extended to catch her. Well, one arm and one firearm anyways. "This one! He's so big and strong, my Papa!" The frozen silence was thawing slightly with Marlene's actions and a quiet murmuring had started up in the back.

So far, so good. Now, I just had to talk to Barret without inadvertently threatening his little girl. Knowing him…it would be tougher than it sounded. No doubt, he would be searching my words for any veiled threats or insults. I really, _really_ did not want to be on the end of his gun. "He sure is, sweetie." I smiled at Marlene before turning to Tifa, who was standing between Cloud and Barret. Cloud nodded once at me when he noticed my glance in his direction. "I just came down to say thank you for the bed, and say I am so sorry for fainting on you and Cloud last night! Umm…sorry for intruding on whatever you have going on down here. I can just go now, and trouble you no further." I gave a bow in her direction. "Thank you for your hospitality, once again." I rose, gave a little wave to Marlene, and turned to call the lift back down. That was enough for right now- I had met the group, and they had not killed me. Yet.

Barret had a different opinion and called me back. "Wait just a damn minute. Who the hell are you?"

I had turned back around when the man had begun to speak. "My name is Stephanie Hitori. Nice to meet you, Mr….?" I said, trailing off, waiting for his name. I took a careful step towards the group and held out my hand to shake.

He grunted. "Barret. No Mr. anything." I nodded, and he scanned me for a moment, before reaching forward and crushing my hand.

I avoided wincing and tried to mask my pain as he pulverized my hand-unintentionally, I hoped. "That's some impressive strength you have there. I feel bad for any idiots who try to make a move on your little girl, with you there to protect her. From potential boyfriends to anyone else."

Marlene decided to speak up again. "Yup! Papa keeps me safe _always!_"

I nodded and took a step back, massaging my hand since Barret finally let go. "I have no doubts about that. With him guarding you, you don't need to worry about a thing." I made a face. "Not even stinky old Shinra!"

Marlene giggled and made an 'ick' face back. "Yeah, stinky ol' Shinra can't beat my Papa!" At our descriptions of Shinra, everybody had reacted. Some, like Barret, had tensed while others, like Tifa, had relaxed.

I nodded and scanned Barret up and down, focusing mostly on his gun. "I'm sure they can't. Now, was there something you wanted, Mr.- err," I blushed," Sorry, I meant, Barret?" By now, most of the room had finally relaxed. Even Barret was relaxing minutely. The combination of flattery and innocence worked! It surprises me, every time, that my innocent act works. Even as ungainly and cumbersome as I am, it seems to occasionally work. I think it's the big and innocent factor…like a giant animal, big and stupid but sweet. I gave an internal grimace when I realized how pathetic that sounded.

"Yeah. You tol' us your damn name, but you didn't tell us who the hell ya are!" **BANG!** Everybody (but Cloud) jumped as Barret swung his fist down onto the table, creating the huge noise.

I blinked, stunned after I jumped, then shrugged when I recovered. 'Well, just for today, I'm a birthday girl, but other than that I am a nobody." I paused as the reality of my situation punched me again. I was not a sister, daughter, or student. I was nobody. My head dropped as I whispered, "Nothing. Alone." I shook off the morose mood with a head shake as I raised myself-and my spirits. "Who are you all?"

Barret had apparently lost his misgivings as he thumped his chest and boasted. He cried out, "We're AVALANCHE! We're protecting the planet from f ©*ing Shinra! They're using up the all the damn energy the planet has! With them using up all the mako, the planet is dying! It's up to us, AVALANCHE, to make sure Gaia survives!" He stopped yelling and glared at me instead. I blinked back, not flinching. It was much more intimidating now than it was when he was just a bunch of harmless pixels on a screen, but I hate backing down. I tried to not cringe back, and I think I succeeded. "So you don't go tellin' the f #kers in Shinra 'bout us! You got that?" He slammed his fist down with a **BANG** once again making everybody but Cloud jump. I nodded _very_ quickly. "GOOD! 'Cause if you tell ANYONE-" **BANG **"-that happens."

I gulped and nodded. "Right," I said, letting out a sigh of relief and relaxing. After a moment's thought, I perked up again. "Is there any way I can help?"

Barret scowled. "Can you do anything specific, special, or well? We already have a bombs officer an' a bunch of other people."

I wilted. What on Gaia could I offer to do? I tilted my head, thinking. Gah! There really was not much I could do. "I could…be a meat shield?" I offered hesitantly. At the darkening looks, I came up with something else. "I can and will learn anything!" Some of the looks softened. "I'm decent with self-defense, but I don't have any training with weapons yet, though I would _really_ love to learn how to use a sword or something. I have not been able to get my hands on any materia, so I have not been able to try that either but it sounds really, really useful, powerful, and useful. I could learn, and help you fight! I wouldn't need anything but training and a little food! I don't have anywhere to be…" I trailed off, "So I can help anytime, anywhere! Whatever I can do to help, I can do without repayment!"

Barret snorted. "Tha' already makes you better than damn Spiky-head here. He insists on damn payment for helping after he recovers!"

I frowned. "Recovers? Is he alright?" Was Cloud hurt in the last fight with Zack, or was he still getting over Hojo?

Cloud shrugged. "I'm fine. I took several bullets. I was a SOLDIER First Class once-I can handle it." Barret snorted and Tifa just looked worried.

I did not stop frowning. "Well….how long until you're fully recovered?"

Cloud shrugged again. "Three days. I'll be in perfect health and ready to go on the operation."

I nodded and let my face naturally morph into a slightly less worried look. "Has this happened before? You seem accustomed to dealing with it." Cloud shrugged. I waited, but he said nothing else. I guess he had used up his word quota for a while. "So…you just need to take it easy these next three days?" Cloud nodded and said nothing.

Tifa broke in. "Why don't you have Cloud demonstrate a few moves while he recovers? As long as he doesn't overexert himself, he should be fine."

I beamed at Tifa, then Cloud. "Would you? You don't need to, I can just leave and not bug you guys again, but I would really love to learn some swordsmanship or spell casting or anything you could teach me!"

Tifa broke in. "I can help with some stuff. Since we have our schedules clear for the next few days, I don't see why we could not help you." When Cloud raised an eyebrow, she turned to him. "Think of it as a birthday gift that just last a few days!" The impressive woman turned back to me. "So, since that's settled, are you willing to do it and put all of your effort into it?"

I nodded sharply. "Yes Ma'm!"

Suddenly Tifa relaxed. "Good! Then why don't you take Marlene upstairs while I talk to her Papa real quick about threatening?"

Marlene giggled as she slid down her he brown-skinned man and headed to me. "That means Papa's gonna get a scolding! Come on! We don't want her to be mad at us to!"

I laughed and took her hand as we went back to the lift. "Now that I can easily agree with!" After we stepped on, I swung Marlene up so I was holding her. "Lucky me! I have my little 'Get out of Tifa's way' card right here!" I tapped her gently on the nose. She giggled as we rose above the lift.

"Now we have to watch the bar until Tifa can come back up!" I followed Marlene behind the counter, raising an eyebrow. Seriously? They just left Marlene up here alone?

I began to follow her example, washing glasses and getting ready to open Seventh Heaven. I idly wondered what was going on below…

1 (=_=)

**Tifa hit Barret once the lift was out of sight.** He yelped and turned towards her. "Wha' the hell was that for?"

She put her hands on her hips and began glaring him down. "That was for crushing her hand! She had bruises forming already when she left!" Barret pulled back slightly.

"S'not my fault! How was I supposed to know? My hands damn numb today 'cause of what damn Spiky did to it!" Barret slumped over and stepped back away from Tifa sulkily, crossing his arms over his chest.

Tifa turned to Cloud. "And you! You could have said yes!" Cloud winced as she punched him in the arm, but said nothing. He just shrugged. Tifa hit him again. "Argh!"

"Alright! I'll say yes and apologize, okay?" Tifa pulled back and nodded satisfactorily.

"Good."

There were some silent snickers from the back of the room, but when Tifa turned back around, everybody was silent.

Barret frowned as he thought. "How do you know her?"

Tifa saddened slightly. "She came into our bar last night. She had been pick-pocketed, but she still wanted to at least see the place. Cloud ended up buying her a drink before she passed out. We think she doesn't know where her money is going to come from-she looks like she was just dealt a hard blow in life. I was willing to give her a drink on tab, but she seemed to know she would not be able to pay it off. What do you think of her, Cloud?"

Cloud was silent for a moment. "She did not know what day it was. She seemed surprised when I told her it was October 27. What I am more concerned about is the meat-shield comment."

Barret scowled. "What the hell did she mean by that anyway?"

Tifa sighed. "A human shield. Sacrificing herself so others will be safe, can live for them."

Cloud stiffened. "She talked a bit, while drunk. She said to…keep moving on, even when someone dies. To stop is to trample on the lives that were sacrificed. She said…keep living, for those who died."

Tifa gave him a sad glance. "Do you think…?"

Cloud sighed, but didn't respond verbally; he had filled his word quota for today.

(-_\\\)

**_Well…that should suffice for now._**_ High school is over. My friends are gone._

_I need help with the pairings._

_Please review._

_Look to my other stories for more updates in the very near future._

_..No, I am not actually suicidal._

Original Post: May 16, 2011

Updated July 31, 2011  
>Words w Authors note: 3,947  
>Current connection with reality: Beginning attachments<p> 


	4. Price of Power

**_Fantasies Realities_**

_Hello again everybody! Let's see…everybody currently amounts to…4 people on . Wow…or not. Anyways, thank you to those who are reading this! Sorry about all the me-centric parts. However, we are currently at T-3 days (or somewhere around there) until the first bombing...which I might be able to convince Cloud and Barret to let me come alongfor._

_I was really depressed last chapter. The little 'No I am not suicidal' note? Yeah, still very true…but I was very depressed when I wrote that. So if I just flat out say something like that without reassurances…it might not be true or it might be an allusion to darker feelings. Gah! Enough with the morose meanderings among my previous writings! …Did that make any sense?_

_I went back through and edited my chapters again, little bits and pieces here…and there…and there…and probably just about everywhere._

**Chapter 4 – Price of Power**

**P - *_***

**To gain something, you must first sacrifice something of equal value.** Even if you cannot see it, you are giving something away when you gain something. When you gain muscles from exercise, you give up time, sweat, energy, and hard work. When you use power, you must either sacrifice in gaining it…or lose something after gaining it. Whether the price for power is paid by you or someone else, the universe demands it be paid. Nothing is free. If you gain something without paying it means someone else has given something up for you. Even something as simple as giving an item away, donating it, is a loss on at least one side.

If you seem to have gotten something for nothing…be sure to thank somebody, or take a closer look at the situation.

(,,,)=^_^=(,,,)

**It was not every day **when you were taught how to mind a bar by a six year-old. (At least, I was assuming Marlene was six or so; I can't judge ages at all.) However, that was how my day was shaping out to be. Marlene had dragged me to the kitchen and through the cupboards, pointing at where (and what) everything was. Luckily, there was only one customer inside, and he had already been taken care of. After Marlene finished showing me around, we both just hung back and monitored the room. I began to ponder on how Tifa had learned how to take care of a bar, and how she had come by the bar in the first place. What had happened to her between Nibelheim and Midgar? How had she ended up with a well-respected bar in Sector Seven slums?

10 minutes or so passed as I wondered without ever coming to a conclusion before the object of my speculation rose up from the basement. Marlene noticed the people coming up and bounced over to them. "Papa!" she cried, once again jumping into his arms. I let a soft smile show as Barret caught his little girl and swung her around. Tifa snuck past him and up to me as I watched.

"It's pretty cute, isn't it?" She asked. I nodded sadly. The gentle (at times) giant and the innocent child; a little girl and her parent, they were two people who genuinely love each other.

"Yeah," I agreed and turned towards Tifa. "No one came in while you were down. That's a good thing, since I wouldn't know what to do."

She smiled. "That's how I felt at first, but you learn quickly once you get started. Speaking of learning, Cloud's willing to go ahead and start helping you out now." Her smile turned into a satisfied smirk.

I perked up. "Really? Where is he? What's he planning?"

She simply pointed to a corner near the back of the building. Cloud was lurking there, clearly attempting to hide in the shadows. "Ask him."

I beamed at Tifa, and then made my way over to Cloud, trying not to bounce. As soon as I stood in front of him, I almost lost my nerve. Almost. "Thank you," I said quietly, ducking my head.

He sighed. "Follow me." He pulled away from the shadows and headed out a backdoor I had not seen before. Definitely _not_ bouncing with excitement, I hurriedly followed after him. He was out the door and had moved from my line of sight before I had even made it outside.

When I made my way through the door, I saw that we had exited into a small back alley; a fairly nice, somewhat clean back alley with sufficient room for exercise. A decent alley all around, especially compared to the one I had been dropped into the day before. Cloud stood a good bit to the left of the door we had just exited. I moved closer and so I was facing him, my back to the door. I waited for a minute, with nothing happening, nothing being said. I resisted the urge to speak, to demand lessons, holding myself still and raising one eyebrow.

After another minute, I saw movement. With nary a thought, I swung up my arm to block the blow. Another flash, and I ducked left and swung up my other arm as another something flashed at my face. I tried to gather my once drifting thoughts to figure out what the heck was going on. I looked up and saw Cloud almost in my face, fists thrown and blocked by my arms I know I let out a breath of surprise, and I prayed it wasn't the squeak I knew it to be. As I looked towards one of our crossed arms, something flashed in the corner of my eye. Almost before I realized what I was doing, I slid backward, dodging the below and moving into a fighting stance. Cloud had spun into where I had just been standing.

"What the-" I managed to choke out before stumbling backwards again, urged by Gaia knows what. Once again, my former spot was occupied by Clouds fists. Growing irritated, I snapped out a (semi)quick roundhouse kick, but it was easily blocked. Spinning around and delivering a back side kick (stupid, I know) I attempted to make contact. He simply stepped backwards, neatly stepping out of my range. I pressed forwards with a (semi) quick series of snap kicks. I was forced to stop when Cloud grabbed my foot, but I was able to wrench it out of his (too loose, it had to be intentionally so) grasp, throwing my weight on it to pull it down and out of his hands, carefully rebalancing as I pulled it close to my body.

I stood in a ready position, anticipating whatever Cloud's next move would be. There were none. Instead, he just gave me a short nod with a grimace on his face.

Wait-what? He was making to pull out his sword! I took several cautious steps away from the giant steel weapon. He paid me no mind, smoothly drawing his sword. I breathed out a small sigh of relief as he reoriented his grip, offering me the handle. I took careful steps forward, bringing me close enough to easily accept his offer. I grasped the handle tightly with both hands, adjusting my grip minutely. I gave a sudden grunt as the tip dropped and almost hit the ground. Cloud had let go and backed away. The sword was heavy! I held tight, bracing myself and making sure the sword did not hit the ground.

I could feel my arms straining as I slowly lifted the sword, the tip rising inch by inch. Cloud waited, watching silently as I struggled with the sword. After a good few minutes, I managed to hold the sword parallel to the ground, pointing the tip towards Cloud. "Well?" I managed to ask. "What now?" Slight tremors rocked the sword. I shifted my feet into slightly, moving into a front stance, and the tremors stopped being quite so violent.

Cloud stepped back several steps. "Try to copy my movements. Don't push to far if you cannot. You don't have any mako injections." With those comforting words ringing in my ears, he moved so he was copying my position. He shifted his hands slightly on an imaginary grip, and I copied him. The sword was slightly (_very_ slightly) easier to handle after that. He slowly lifted his hands, stopping when they were flat over his head. My face paled as he realized he was waiting for me to lift the sword over my head.

I very nearly didn't, too scared of dropping the sword and splitting my head open like a melon, but I very slowly lifted my own hands, doing my level best to keep them steady as my arms shook slightly. Probably the only two reasons I was actually doing this and not having a panic attack were a) Cloud was awesome and fast and not very far away, and could probably catch the sword if it started to drop and b) I had done the same thing with a, "Advent Children Multi Blade Buster Sword" which was about 10 pounds and dull. This sword was much heavier…

I almost panicked when I realized my inattention had caused the blade to dip backwards behind my head, the tip dropping from where it was hovering parallel to the ground. I closed my eyes and concentrated on just raising it back up slightly, on keeping the sword level. With a grunt of effort, I stabilized the sword midair behind my head and tried to focus back on Cloud. His face was still firmly set, but I thought I caught a glimmer of a smirk at one corner of his mouth as he slowly pulled his hands back down in front of his chest.

I tried not to wonder how I had suddenly become sensitive to what people were doing with their faces, and instead concentrated on not dropping the sword as I slowly lowered it back down. I nearly staggered forward as the blade started to drop back down from the peak, no longer forcing the sword back up but making sure it didn't drag me down into the ground. Sweat broke out on my forehead as I struggled to keep it leveled at Cloud, the blade dipping and swaying slightly as my body was wracked with tremors. I tried not to feel weak – after all, this was a blade meant for someone with Soldier strength- but I still felt pathetic as the tip continued to drop.

Cloud was moving again. I tried to split my attention between trying to keep the sword level and understanding what he was doing. "Hold still," Cloud said, breaking the silence. I obeyed and waited while he approached. Gently, he maneuvered and deftly took the sword from my sweaty grasp. When the sword completely left my hands, my arms dropped in relief as I let out a soft sigh.

He stepped back to where he was before, and actually smirked at me. He quickly raised the blade, whipped it from side to side, spun in a twirl and thrust it forward. I know I squeaked as I stumbled backwards-who could really blame me this time? Cloud was pointing a Gaia-cursed honking big sword at me and shoving it forward in my direction! Pulling back, he easily lifted the blade and settled it on his back, latching it into place somehow.

"Not bad," Cloud said. "Are you ready to try materia?"

My eyebrow twitched in aggravation. He actually called my pathetic attempt not bad? I know I should not compare myself to him, since he had mako injections and other…enhancements, but even compared to everybody else I was pathetic! Please oh please let magic be easier. "Yeah. Except…I don't have any clear ideas on how to use it. All I know is that you use orbs of crystalized Mako, special slots, and energy.

Cloud shrugged. "That covers just about everything you need-if you include willpower. Here." He pulled something off his wrist and tossed it towards me. I stumbled forward and managed to catch it. I looked down to see just what it was I had caught. It was one of those gauntlet things, a bronze something-or-other-bracelet-thing. I turned it over in my hands and hesitated slightly before sliding it on.

"It goes on your dominant hand, right?" When Cloud gave a nod, I quickly pulled it on. After a little bit of fumbling, I tightened the straps that kept it secure. Once finished, I looked up just in time to see Cloud holding a glowing green rock up. Thankfully (and luckily) I managed to once again catch what he tossed with no forewarning. I automatically lifted it to see what it looked like with the sun shining through, but the shadow that covered us stayed. The plate was blocking the light. Sighing, I lowered it and tried to examine it closer anyways. It seemed to be sparking slightly with its own inner life. A quiet whisper brushed through my mind. Frowning and concentrating, I focused on the green materia, closing my eyes to better do so. The quiet whispers started up. I could feel the static running through my hands now, a brush of lightning through my senses. I heard a whisper of power-that I could use it if I so desired. Power granted from the spirits flowing through the Planet. Shards of memories lingered on the edge of my mind, able for me to call upon at will. I was holding a small piece of the Lifestream in my own two hands.

Concentrating, I lowered the small piece of the Planet into the bracelet. With a small _click_ I knew it had settled into place. The whisperings quieted almost beyond my hearing, leaving just a soft murmur in my mind but the sense of lightning and power flowing through my hand increased. I turned so I was facing a wall. I focused on the small gem and pointed my hand towards the bare wall. Pushing power down my hand, calling upon the power in the memories, I whispered "**Lightning!**"

A streak of yellow flashed from my hand and smashed into the wall. Rolling thunder boomed (relatively) quietly less than a second later as air rushed to fill the space the lightning had burned away. A smell of burnt brick reached my nose as smoke wafted off the wall from a scorched patch. Cloud looked at it thoughtfully. Grinning at the rush of power, I turned back to him. "Well? Haw was that for a first try?" Trying not to be overconfident, I utterly failed with the sense of…ability, control, capability…the magic gave me.

"Actually…" Cloud started then he trailed off. "That was good for a first try. However, it still lacks the kick behind a full attack. An enemy, unless they were wearing an absurd amount of metal," (_Isn't that most soldiers_?) "Would be able to shrug that off with little to no effort." Cloud seemed to be falling into his condescending teacher mode he used at the beginning of the game to explain things. "You have to consider carefully when using magic. Although the materia allows you to cast spells and actually increases the amount of willpower and magical strength a person normally has, it also saps some of their strength and energy. For an ex-Soldier like me, this presents no problem since I already have high stats and can easily compensate for the drain. For the average citizen like you, you would be even weaker than you normally are. Do you understand? Think carefully before equipping materia. Be sure the positive outweighs the negative and that you can handle the cost in the end."

I looked down at the materia and considered this, taking little offense at Cloud calling me 'weak.' I could feel a slight lethargy in my veins, easily ignored if not pointed out. I looked up at Cloud and nodded seriously. "The price of power…" I whispered softly. "To gain the ability to use the gift of the planet, I have to sacrifice a little energy, a little power. In return…I gain another type of energy, another type of power."

Cloud nodded seriously. Measuring me, he asked, "Do you have the energy to try again?"

I blinked, startled. "Well, yeah. It's not like it took much power. I can try again." Cloud gave a little "Hmmm…." I shrugged and faced the wall. I focused even harder, pulling up the feelings the memory fragments gave me and focusing on forcing power down my arm, centering on the materia. "**Lightning!"** I cried, louder than before. A solid branch of yellow energy streaked across the space, energy crackling along its length as several bricks exploded off the side of the building. Dodging the flying shrapnel I listened to the sound of twittering birds die off. _Chidori_ I thought to myself. _Well, not quite…not even half as powerful…yet._

With a smirk firmly planted on my face I turned back towards Cloud. "Better that time?"

Cloud nodded. "Much. Do it again, if you can. This time, aim at the ground. We don't want damaged buildings on our hands. Lightning destroys…not repairs."

Grinning at Cloud I complied but not before delivering a comment back. "And Restore won't either?"

He responded with a smirk. "Right."

.oOo.

Tifa sighed as she put away a glass. Today was another slow day. She should be thankful since this meant less work for her, but she needed something to distract her from worrying. Cloud had appeared 4 days ago as a complete mess. On the first day, nobody had been able to get their hands on a restore materia and Cloud had suffered with little help. Tifa had been able to pull most of the bullets out, but she was too worried and in shock to do much else. Sometime on the second day, someone had managed to get their hands on a restore materia. With a bit of finagling, Tifa managed to use it and several bullets she had been unable to pull out were forced out by the magic. With another casting, the wounds started to slowly pull back together, thankfully stopping most of the blood loss.

They were then finally able to give him a potion. It would not have worked earlier because of the bullet wounds; it would simply have grown over the bullets and helped Cloud with his blood loss. On the third day, Cloud had awoken, with only minor damage left. Tifa had nearly cried with relief. She thought she had found Cloud, only to lose him again. However when he woke up and explained what happened…she was frightened again. He was speaking as if he had been at Nibelheim, been a First Class Soldier. She knew he had not done either of the things he seemed to truly believe he had done. She had forced him to take a nap in the middle of the day to help him recover his strength, which he had barely consented to.

As soon as she was sure he was asleep, she had locked herself in her room and did her best not to break down. She had managed to convince Cloud to stay, rest, heal, and help AVALACNHE. Despite her cheerful façade and her desire for revenge, she worried about what would happen. She prayed that Cloud and Barret and everybody would make it through safely. Tifa winced as an image of Cloud, broken and bleeding, flashed through her mind.

Tearing herself away from morose thoughts, Tifa gently set down the glass and scanned the room. Several members of AVALANCHE were just sitting around. Jessie was studying bomb blueprints. Wedge was chowing down on a snack she had cooked for him. Marlene was showing Barret pictures she had drawn, and he was happily looking at his daughter's works of art.

Deciding it would not hurt, she made her way over to the back door to see how Cloud and the girl were doing. As she pulled open the door, she heard a yell of** "LIGHTNING!"** Pausing before opening the door fully, she looked to see how they were progressing. The girl…Stephanie, was standing in the middle of the alley with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. Cloud was standing nearby, an impassive face watching over the procedures. The ground…was torn up, and debris was scattered around the alley. She took a step outside and gave a stern look to the duo.

"You _will_ be cleaning this up once you are done." She sighed, seeing the burnt bricks almost everywhere. Well. If she did not know better, she would say the girl was lying when she said she had no materia experience. The marks on the ground clearly showed proficiency with the magic, and it had been the girl's voice calling out the spell, not Cloud's.

Stephanie gave a sheepish grin. "Sorry about all that. Do you think we could have a target or something? Or three?" She gestured at the ground. "I couldn't really aim anywhere else…sorry." She made a face and grimaced. "Ugh, the price of practicing…would you please sacrifice some of time from your busy life to help find something else we can blow up? Without causing property damage this time?" She shot the last part at Cloud, who shrugged.

"You were the one who wanted to keep going. I suggested taking a break and doing pushups and core exercises." At Cloud's words, Stephanie bit back a bitter look.

"Yeah...but really, which would you do? Awesome magic spells that blow things up, or totally exhausting exercises? Besides, I don't know how much of a 'break' those would be. For you, maybe. For me….no." She laughed and pushed a sweaty lock of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. "This would be enough exercise for me normally…" Tifa noticed she trailed off and through a longing glance at Cloud's metal sword. "…but I really want to work with swords as well…." She trailed off again, looking thoughtful. "So, I guess I'll do some of the physical muscle building exercises after lunch, whenever that is."

Tifa decided to break back into the conversation. "You both have been out here for several hours already. It's already 1:30." At Stephanie's look of shock, she bit back a laugh. "Why don't you both come in for a late lunch, then clean up the alley after."

Stephanie shrugged. "Sure! Sounds great to me. So, do you need some help with the grub?"

Tifa waved off the offer of help. "No, I have it covered. Just go wash up and come back down to eat." She left the door open as she went inside to start up a large, late lunch for the two. She knew how hungry spells could make you, sapping at your energy. Cloud was still recovering as well, and he needed as much food as she could stuff at him. She giggled at the thought of stuffing Cloud full of Gashyl Greens as she headed off to the kitchen section of her bar.

(,,,)=^_^=(,,,)

I managed to tame my grin as I trudged up to the washroom. With Clouds…encouragement, I had improved my spellcasting. I was _extremely_ reluctant to stop. The ability to use magic was something I had always dreamed about, secretly (and not so secretly) wished for every other day. Why else would I love fantasy books and games the most? They gave the characters the power to do something that we never could in our world-my old world.

I once again banished thoughts of home before they could surface. Later I could have a breakdown. Right now, I was ready to eat. My grin, out of place on my normally frowning face, was back by the time I left to let Cloud have his turn. On my wrist, the materia bracelet stayed on.

(-_\\\)

_I think that's a great place to stop right now! So, yeah. I don't know how well my explanation on the materia turned out. It's crystallized mako, originating from the Lifestream. It contains memories and they (people on Gaia) use that to work the spells. So…yeah._

_In case you had not guessed, the quote from this chapter is an abbreviated version of the Fullmetal Alchemist…motto? morale? saying? Anyways, it's a rule I apply to my daily life. For everybody reading the story…you are sacrificing the time to read this and are gaining (hopefully) entertainment, empathy, whatever you read for. I sacrificed time and thought to put this into words on a page in my computer. I get to go through past memories and remember…and read a good story. So…yeah._

_Hopefully the sword practice went well enough. I haven't had a swords class yet (and I switched Taekwondo places when the awesome instructor opened his own place…after a year break… and he doesn't offer any sword lessons. I'm still looking for a swords class, preferably Japanese or at least Asian, near Rock Hill SC…) but I have seen several people practicing. It was always the basic overhead cut, trying to blow out a lit candle without touching it. I've done a little research online and bought my own wooden practice katana, and that seems to be the place to start. Sorry about the extra info…and I absolutely had to mention the sword we got for Christmas! It is freaking awesome. It was probably a bad idea to try the overhead cut when I wasn't sure if I could hold it… but I was fine. Too bad it stays at Dad's house…_

_BTW, the 'bronze bracelet' is a bronze bangle. I guess that's really just a thick bracelet, wide enough to hold an orb?_

_We are getting closer to the storyline! Expect some of the minor characters to play a part soon! I'm trying to wrangle one of the three that die (Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge) into helping me or doing _something._ I want this story to have emotional development. That is this stories focus._

_ Emotion._

Original Post: July 31, 2011  
>AO3 Post: October 12, 2012<br>Last updated: February 3, 2013  
>Words wo AN: 3,829  
>Current connection with reality: Building the base<p> 


	5. Lunch and Learning

**_Fantasies Realities_**

_I think I need to beg everybody's apologies… I wrote the last chapter a year and a half ago. I have had multiple false starts since then, and many attempts at playing FFVII. Let's just say there were definitely reasons I didn't update…_

_I think I'm ready to try again. I've pretty much recovered from my depression, and my counselor suggested meetings every 3 weeks now, so I think I'm doing much better. So while Stephanie still plans on being a meatshield, I am in a slightly better place._

_So, I managed to play FFVII again... and realized Seventh Heaven was nothing like how I pictured the layout in my mind. At least I got the hidden room right… sigh._

**Chapter 5 – Lunch and Learning**

**H - :-/**

**Knowledge will give you power, but character respect. **If one were to gain the knowledge of a thousand men, one would grow powerful indeed. But if one refused to have good character, or acts in misconduct, one gains the respect of nobody – only fear, or despise.

Yet if that one with the knowledge of a thousand were to act with a goodness of character, the one will gain respect – the awed respect of his allies, and the reluctant respect of his enemies.

If the one were to lose the knowledge, the one with respect may yet keep his power. The one who afflicted himself with an ill character, however, will quickly gain scorn and will only suffer.

**-Bruce Lee**

**(^_^)/**

I didn't notice how sore my entire body was, how heavy my mind felt until I began making my way back downstairs. I nearly missed the second step when a wave of heaviness overcame my being. With a groan, I twisted slightly so instead of falling down the stairs, I just landed on my padded posterior. I winced at the jarring landing, but most of my mind was consumed with wondering why I was so sore.

I had swung Cloud's huge blade around for quite a few minutes, but that would only explain why my arms were aching. They felt worse than the rest of me, but it was everywhere that was in this throbbing pain, not just one limited area. I wondered what my stat screen would look like right now. Level 2? HP 25/50? MP 8/52? Then would come my abominably low base stats...which would be affected by the Materia I was still holding! Could the Materia be contributing to the throbbing sensation coursing through my veins?

Now that I was thinking about it, I realized that I had not wondered exactly how the Materia lowered some stats while boosting others. I still had the Materia equipped in the bracer Cloud had lent me, so it should be affecting me right now. That meant... My magic skill went up slightly...and attack or defense or some other physical stat had gone down. Could that be why it felt like acid was running through my veins?

A hand suddenly landed on my shoulder, jerking me out of my thoughts as I twisted upright and around to see what had grabbed me. I blinked in surprise to see Cloud standing on the stairs behind me, an unreadable expression on his face. My face reddened as I realized I was blocking the stairs.

"Sorry…" I muttered, carefully not looking up as I slowly rose to my feet. Another wave of _something_ washed over me, and I would have fallen down the stairs but for the hand that caught my arm. Biting back a grimace, I levered myself upright with Cloud's silent assistance. "Sorry…" I murmured again, my face beet red as I carefully stepped away from Cloud and down the steps. My limbs still felt horribly limp, but they managed to support my weight as I slowly clonked downstairs.

I bit my lip as I made my way over to Tifa, biting down a sigh of relief as I sat where she gestured. Something about changing worlds must have radically improved my understanding of social gestures…

I blinked when I realized that I (and now Cloud as well) was sitting across from another duo. One was a girl, with light brown hair pulled into a high ponytail. The other was a rather portly guy with a red bandanna. They paused in their conversation to greet us.

"Hi, Cloud!" The girl called. The guy just waved with one hand, still eating the sandwich in the other. "Finally decided to join us for lunch with your new friend?"

Cloud just lifted his shoulders slightly before letting them fall, clearly not really interested in talking. Not really surprising – I was much more surprised with how much he had deigned to say when he was training me earlier. I copied the other guy, silently waving with my aching hand and offering a shy smile. I paused when I realized these people were familiar. If I kinda-sorta recognized them, they were obviously character I had seen in the game. It had honestly been quite some time since I played, but some things you never forgot. Now I just had to remember who they were…

"I'm Jessie, and this guy here is Wedge. We saw you earlier with Marlene, but I don't think we were introduced." Jessie introduced herself cheerfully, obviously used to Cloud's silence. I slowly extended my hand to shake hers, and watched as my arm was visibly shaking as I shook both her and Wedge's hand over the table. I thought I caught Cloud frowning at that, but when I shifted slightly to see him better he was clearly being his stoic self. "Wedge and I were just discussing what we've got planned for Sunday. Let me tell you, it's going to be a blast!"

I brightened as I remembered who Jessie was. She was the explosion person; she created bombs by following computer instructions. She had shown Cloud (and thus, me) the map of Midgar on the train. Wedge was the shy guy who really looked up to Cloud. I bit my lip and tried to remember more about them as they turned back and started talking to each other again, grateful they wouldn't be pulling me into any social situations. Just introducing myself was hard enough. It had been much easier with Cloud and Tifa because I was exhausted to the point of not caring and verbal spewing.

I knew there was something semi-important about the two. I had just played the game fully a month ago (finally making it all the way through, for once) and I had just finished up a FFVII fanfiction marathon. Why couldn't I remember more about them?

Just then, there was a loud sound right in front of me. I startled, jerking away and flinching at the resulting pain from my sore body. When I reopened my eyes, I realized there was now a plate of food in front of me and Tifa was talking to Cloud. Nobody seemed to have noticed my odd behavior, so I quietly began scarfing down the food. I had only eaten an apple for breakfast when I was helping Marlene set up the bar, and all the exercise had worn me out. I was trying to replenish my energy as quickly as I could; spell casting really took it out of you.

I was satisfied just to watch silently as I ate and listen to the conversations around me. Jessie was still talking to Wedge about her latest batch she had made, and about how she couldn't wait until she could use it. Wedge was nodding along as he continued eating, sometimes more vigorously than others. Cloud was eating silently, his body turned towards Tifa but not otherwise suggesting he was listening to her. Tifa was almost bouncing in place as she talked to Cloud, almost bouncing out of her rather lacking shirt. Hmm…I was going to need to do something about the laundry situation… I don't remember there being any laundry machines in any game I've played, but…

Tifa was still talking. She just finished telling Cloud about one subject and had swapped to a new one. "You're feeling better, right Cloud?" A pause, and a slight nod of the head. "I managed to convince Barret to let you keep the Restore Materia we used to heal you, so long as you give it back before you go."

Cloud paused, lowering the fork and placing it back onto the table. He blinked, apparently not comprehending what Tifa had just offered momentarily. "Thank you," he said after a moment.

Tifa smiled at him, pulling something out of her pocket. "Here you go! One Restore materia, coming right up!" She handed the green gem to Cloud with a flourish. Cloud took the materia made a motion to equip it, pausing when he noted his bare arm. He instead began to pull his sword over his shoulder, before pausing once again, turning to look at me instead.

"Try this one," was all Cloud said as he held out the restore materia. I bit my lip as I silently accepted the materia, placing it on the table so I could remove thunder. I refused to look up as I tugged the jewel out of the bronze bracelet-thing so I didn't have to see if anyone was paying me any attention. I placed it next to the one Cloud had handed to me, on the side closer to Cloud so he could take it back if he wanted it, even though I was loathe to relinquish it. With both orbs lying side by side, I could see the slight differences in hues. The thunder materia had tiny, almost indistinct yellow veins running through it, while the restore materia had deep green strains, practically invisible inside the emerald green gem.

I closed my eyes as I picked up the new materia, focusing to see if I could hear the whispers again. Indistinct, quiet murmuring began to fill my mind as a soft feeling of relief slowly ebbed into my hand. I concentrated harder, trying to focus and listen to the words hovering out of earshot. After a moment of nothing happening, I slotted the new materia. The green shone palely from where it nestled in bronze metal, demonstrating the power I could draw. Just as before, the sounds hushed but the promise of ability once again grew, infusing me with new vitality. It was more muffled than the lightning, but I could still sense the promise the materia was offering.

"**Cure**," I whispered, directing it towards Cloud. A soft green mist spread from my palm, wrapping around the blond figure. Cloud closed his eyes and tilted his head back slightly as the energy poured into him, the summoned breeze and mist ruffling around his character. A moment later, the air was once again calm and clear. Cloud was smirking, and I looked around to see that Tifa was focused on Cloud while Wedge and Jessie were peering curiously at the materia.

Jessie was the first to speak. "So, that was cure? I didn't get to see it when Tifa healed Cloud. It's a lot more quiet than I thought magic would be. I was picturing fires, explosions, loud thunder, raucous applause – the works!"

Wedge shook his head and attention was transferred to him. "That's fire and thunder materia you're thinking of. There's several different types of materia, as indicated by their color. There's green magic materia, like these two, and those are the most commonly known. Several types of these are thunder, fire, blizzard, and restore. Then there are the rare but well-known summon materia, which are always colored red and summon an otherworldly force. These are incredibly powerful but very demanding. There are command materia, yellow materia that lend you the knowledge of different abilities. Then there are the blue support materia, which has benefits the user without being directly called upon. Finally, you have purple independent materia that can do a large variety of actions without linking to another materia, unlike support materia."

Wedge finished his lecture with a slight hand wave, before realizing that everyone was now looking at him. "I used to be really interested in materia, okay? I never had enough energy to cast a spell or enough money to buy them, but I did a lot of research on them a while ago!" Wedge's face was heating up, and he began to shovel food in his mouth in an effort to avoid further embarrassment.

Cloud eyed him, assessing him, before nodding. "You did some decent research; you've covered quite a lot about the basic types of materia. What else do you know about them?" Cloud seemed genuinely interested in what Wedge knew. I suppose teacher!Cloud in the beginning wasn't entirely for the sole purpose of informing the player about the game mechanics; it seemed Cloud actually cared that people knew things.

Wedge finished his latest bite with a loud gulp, face still read, but smiling despite himself. "I, uh, know a bit more. They're condensed pieces of the lifestream, supposedly the knowledge of the Ancients, though Shinra denies any such thing. They, um, need to be equipped in a slot to work, and most high-end weapons come with at least one materia slot. The most basic equipment that will let you use materia is a Bronze Bangle, like Stephanie has on over there. Um, some slots are connected, which materia like the support materia elemental needs in order to be useful because it won't work without a partner materia. And, um, that's about it."

Cloud favored Wedge with a small smile, and Wedge practically glowed under the positive attention. "You do know your materia." Cloud turned towards me slightly, holding out a hand. I hesitated, confused as to why I know had a scarred hand in my field of vision. I pinked slightly when I realized he must want the bronze bangle, and reluctantly slid the 'armor' off my wrist and handed it to Cloud. Cloud simply turned back to Wedge, offering him the equipment. "Try using cure on her."

Wedge stumbled a little as he grasped the bracelet, almost missing the bangle dangling from Cloud's hand in his combined nervousness and excitement. He slid it onto his own wrist, closing his eyes and obviously focusing on the materia. I waited nervously as he did so – had Cloud just told him to cast his first spell on me or on Jessie? I was decidedly nervous by the time Wedge opened his eyes a good few minutes later – had I taken that long when I took the materia? Maybe before I had equipped it, but I had thought I cast it pretty quickly after I equipped it.

Wedge slowly pointed his hand at me, a clear parallel of when I had cast cure on Cloud earlier. I guess that meant Cloud assigned me as the target after all – revenge? "**Cure!**" He cried, and a soft green glow poured from the materia. The green mist was thin, but no less visible than the one I had cast earlier. I tensed and braced myself for the first spell cast on me, wary of a negative reaction or a miscast spell.

I relaxed as the spell made contact. It was like a warm blanket was wrapping around me, soothing away my aches and pains. I felt my muscles loosen as the spell took away some of the stress. I breathed an audible sigh of relief as the headache that had persisted from this morning finally left, and the warm feeling disappeared with it. I reopened my mysteriously closed eyes as I felt the spell recede, sighing with regret as it disappeared.

I was shocked to see Wedge looking slightly pale, sweat dripping from his forehead, but with an enormous pleased smile spreading across his face. "I did it! I finally managed to cast a spell – and it was amazing!" He beamed at us as he slowly pulled the bangle off his arm, hesitating momentarily on who to offer it too before giving it back to Cloud. "Thank you, Cloud!"

Jessie clapped him on the shoulder as they turned back to their meal, this time with Wedge doing the talking and gesturing (albeit much slower and gentler but no less enthusiastic) while Jessie listened and ate. Cloud just looked at the bangle for a moment before slipping it back onto his wrist. He hesitated as he picked up the lightning materia.

I forced myself to turn away and finish eating. Whatever Cloud did with the materia was clearly none of my business.

(^_^)/

Cloud turned the materia over in his hand before equipping it to his sword. He wasn't so sure why he was being so accommodating and helpful, but it had warmed a part of him to see several people clearly appreciative of what he was doing. He tried to remember if he had taught before, if that was why this was actually rewarding and not a terrible hardship.

He almost snorted when he felt bad for the poor little person he may or may not have trained. He obviously wasn't a good teacher; he was fortunate that both the girl and the boy had known what to do. The boy obviously had low amounts of MP, but he had enough for one good spell, and he could probably cast two if he really pushed it or had a minute between castings. He was slightly, but not really, surprised on how his technical knowledge had translated into practical knowledge.

Yet the girl could cast just as well, if not better, with a lack of practical and theoretical knowledge. Her stores of MP were substantially larger, more similar to a younger Tifa or basic grunts, perhaps. She had also cast quicker, and seemed more in tune with the materia. Perhaps that was the reason for her aptitude – her handling and examining of the materia before attempting to use it.

Well, at least she could practice with the materia because she was not handling his sword again – not for a very long time, at the least. She lacked both the upper body strength and fortitude necessary to wield a weapon like the Buster Blade…and he honestly didn't wasn't anyone else touching it anyways. She could find a pipe or something else in these slums if she wanted sword practice.

Cloud frowned when he realized he had eaten his entire meal and Tifa was back behind the bar. Wedge and Jessie were still talking, Wedge regaining his energy and making wilder and larger hand motions as time passed and he continued talking about materia. Stephanie was tracing the grains in the wood idly as she fidgeted in her seat, clearly uncomfortable. She obviously had no idea what to do next.

Cloud frowned as he thought about that. What was the awkward stranger to do? They could do the core exercises they had agreed upon after their food settled, but that wouldn't be for some time yet. What could they do during the time, considering Cloud himself wasn't allowed to train or do anything that might stress his still-recovering body. Although his Soldier healing was speeding the healing progress exponentially, his body still was in poor shape.

Cloud still couldn't remember why he was like he was. He was forced to assume that he had been grievously injured in his defection from Shinra. All he could remember of his recent memories was escaping from…somewhere, and being hounded by Shinra. He had been somewhat malnourished, so he could conclude he had been unable to meet the high caloric intake his body required, thanks to Mako speeding up his metabolism. He wondered whether it was a blessing or a curse that he couldn't clearly recall the fight that had wounded him. He reluctantly decided that it might be a boon, based on his wounds.

Wounds that were actually feeling quite healed, thank you very much. The healing spell had worked quite well earlier. He had felt his bones shift and realign themselves from where they had been knocked askew, and the aches that had been tormenting him had faded into a rather dull –if still present and annoying- throb. Perhaps now he could convince Tifa to allow him some exercise? His muscles had clearly deteriorated a large amount in his period of extended malnourishment, so much so that he was probably back down to a Soldier Second's level of ability.

If this allowed Tifa to clear him, he would have to thank the girl. He obviously couldn't offer her lessons since Tifa had already strong-armed him into that agreement, but perhaps he could offer her a bronze bangle of her own? He couldn't remember how much they cost, but surely they couldn't have been that much?

If not, he could just slay some monsters in the area, perhaps earn a few gil. He would have to see…

(^_^)/

_And….done! Wow! I actually did it! I'll be honest… I didn't expect to. So, I just wrote these 7 pages in one go. Yay. Of course…now it is 3:40 in the morning and my self-imposed hard-limit for sleep passed about an hour and a half ago…and I still need to post this. _

_Okay. So, If you're reading this on , you will finds there have been revisions in all the past chapters, hopefully improving the quality of my work and the enjoyment in your reading. If you're reading this on A03, I mostly just changed the sword training scene._

_I just realized I haven't picked the quote yet…and I just realized that I really am tired 'cause I don't know when to shut up and let others ignore things they don't care about. Like how I've been working on the quote first, trying to match it to the chapter I have planned and then keeping the quote in mind as I type. Now, I have no freaking clue what to put as the quote, which reduces its value. So, I'll probably be up at least another half hour searching for a good quote._

_…I think I'm going to end up skipping sleep tonight.._

_It might bounce between thunder and lightning materia in the story. I still don't remember which it is. I still haven't completed the game. _

_Speaking of, I'm going to try to make a play through of the game…if it's legal. Is it legal? I'm trying to download the PC version of FFVII but I'm having problems…the reCaptcha at the bottom of the page is refusing to offer a visual or auditory code. In the terms of service, section 2, subsection a, part ix) it says something about not making 'any derivative works of applications provided in the services.' Is that just saying I can't take a part of the game and do whatever, or does that restrict videos of it as well? In the same sections, it says something about not being allowed to frame the work as well…then I got frustrated and closed it._

_So, if I made the aforementioned play-through, would it be better to read the dialogue aloud, respond to the dialogue, or just wait long enough for the viewer to read it and otherwise not comment on it? I'm leaning towards the first option, but I'm tempted to do the second. Input please?_

_Wow. Time really is relative. I checked my watch to see how long I spent on the quote, and the seconds are literally flying past. Tick-tick-tick-tickticktickticktick Oh God I;m tired_

_Sorry this is long. I don't really have a filter when I'm tired. Thank you for reading, and sorry for the wait._

Original Post: February 4, 2013  
>Last updated: February 4, 2013<br>Words w/o AN: 3,365  
>Current connection with reality: Difficulties in the infrastructure.<p> 


End file.
